Elephant in the Room

 There was an elephant in the room of my mind.

 It stood and watched me silently.

 When I introduced myself to people it looked up
 waiting to be introduced.

 But

 it's my socially unacceptable secret,
 my conversation killer,
 my secret past,
 hidden but huge
 like an elephant in the room of my mind.

 Imagine if I said to someone
 'Hi I'm Sarah. I was abused as a child by someone I didn't know, my family unaware.'
 And they would say...
 well what would they say?

 So I didn't say it to anyone,
 but that abuse had twisted my mind and my soul so I was walking dysfunction.

 For a long time unaware of how broken I was,
 thinking the tormenting demons were normal,
 normal for hell maybe,
 but not meant for a princess of the King,
 a precious child made in the image of God.

 Sinned against yet consumed with shame and guilt
 as if it was my fault.

 If you've broken your arm or leg you get sympathy, understanding, an encouraging smile.

 When your soul's been broken and you limp on the inside,
 you want to say the fact you're broken
 so someone can help you.

 But you stay silent,
 looking at the elephant in your own mind,
 and wishing someone would take it away forever.

 Then someone did it for me.

 It was Jesus.

He appears in different forms,
and he came in the form of an older woman in my church
who was filled with the Holy Spirit.

 And she gave hours
 and hours
 and hours to me,
 listening to my brokenness,
 understanding my pain,
 bringing God's word to my life through prayer,
 hugging me when words just wouldn't do.

 Unlike coffee healing wasn't instant,
 when you've been hurt over a long time
 it takes time for healing to come.

 But it came,
 and gradually I realized
 Jesus had gently but firmly
 led the elephant away out of the room of my mind.

 This is what healing looks like

 the effective,

 comprehensive,

 complete removal of any elephant that fills the room of your mind.